I am really looking forward to getting back to a schedule because Logan's sleeping patterns are just cuh-razy! Tonight I thought he was down when he skipped his nap and fell asleep at 7:30pm. He was awake a half hour later and full of spunk. He played until almost 1am and now I've spent a couple of hours reading and looking up stuff on the 'net, so I will probably get just 6 hours asleep again. I am so spoiled, I know, because I really should go to sleep when he does, but I hate, hate, HATE giving up my 'me' time!

School starts August 7 but the great thing is Cat (my oldest's girfriend) arrives on Tuesday, so there will be someone home when I need to pick up the oldest from work at 10 and 11pm (depending on the day), so after this Tuesday I can get back on the ball. My focus is getting back to the gym, because dancing in the dark in my room isn't really cutting it, even when I break a sweat doing it. I need to get back to weightlifting, because these last 30 pounds are not going to come off easily. I'd really love to make goal by Yule, but I doubt it.

Now that I do have more reading time (I read while Logan plays or after he goes to bed), I am getting hit with the writing bug again. I may need to carve out some time for doing that, but Logan likes to climb into my lap if I sit at the computer, so that could be a problem. My internet usage during the day are really guerilla strikes-- I get on real fast for 15 minutes here or there... check email for a couple minutes then rejoin him. I feel guilty when I am online, even when he is perfectly happy doing something on his own. I am sensitive to my time spent online due to that idiotic time when I was depressed several years ago and I am terrified of ever ending up like that again. I have watched very little of the Big Brother feeds and wish I hadn't paid for them, but that would really be a differant story if Logan was on his schedule. Heh. Everything always comes back to that....

Logan is a happy boy, though. So I'm happy, too. Just kinda bored outta my mind.

Went to the salon today and had my mother's hairstylist cut and perm my hair. I'm very happy with it and it does really well masking the new hair that is growing in. Its a fun little cut and I may keep it this way for a good while.

We have introduced the potty to Logan. He has been waking up from naps with dry diapers and can even sleep all night and wake with a dry one, too. He also signals when he is going to pee, although not consistantly, but it was enough for me to get a simple potty seat and let him get used to having it around. I found some great cloth training pants that I can use for at home and then I could just use the disposables when we go out. I hope to get some next month. I'll feel better having the cloth training pants.

I do not expect to have Logan potty trained until next year. I'm just sort of slowly adding this to our home routine. Just another thing to keep me busy. Busy is good. Busy keeps the loneliness at bay.

My oldest's girlfriend is arriving on the 30th. She's going to visit for two weeks or so. I love her to death, I can't wait to see her again.

My daughter starts school on the 7th. YIPPEE! Back to normal schedules. I am just frickin' thrilled about that. It will be very helpful with getting Logan ona better routine and getting to the gym in the mornings or evenings. I want him back playing with those kids again. Maybe he will talk more.

Very little talking right now, other than the few words he has right now. He definately understands what we say and he takes two-stage directions really well. I feel like I'm doing something wrong.

Time to go, we're dancing to Laurie Berkner.

I had my one year 'surgiversay' yesterday. Just for fun, I thought I would take a picture wearing the blue dress I bought one year ago to wear this summer. This is the blue dress I talked about buying at the thrift shop and Cat wanted to make sure I was buying clothes I could wear then-- since I had clothes for the next few months I got something fun instead.

The dress is a size 9/10. It actually fits comfortably, but as you can tell from the 'tire' at my lower abdomen, I'll be needing some surgical intervention on the excess skin later on. I will probably be investing in some Spanx soon. I also need to purchase some more new bras, as the ones I bought a couple months ago are loose again and ill-fitting.

In the past year I have lost 85 pounds and a total of 83.25 inches. Here are the measurement differances from then / now:
Neck 15.5/13.5
Breast 46/35.5
Ribcage 38/30.5
Waist 42.5/31
Abdomen 55/40
Butt 54/41.5 (This was taken starting at the top of the mons pubis and wrapping around and over the buttocks and back again)
Upper Thigh 30/22.5
Lower Thigh 23/18.5
Knee 16.25/14.25
Calf 17.25/15
Ankle 10/9
Foot 9.25/8.5 (I no longer require 'wide' size in footware)
Upper Arm 14.5/12
Elbow 11.5/9.75
Lower arm 11.25/9.25
Wrist 7/6.25

I now wear size 12/14 or mediums in shirts and pants. I began with a 48DD bra size and I believe next month when I go bra shopping, I will end up in a 36C.

I am still tackling old demons, though. I have a tendency to graze when bored, although my grazing is now on fruit and almonds, rather than chips, pizza, or pasta. I have an extremely high tolerance to sugar. I can eat an entire Hershey bar with no ill effect. I actually did eat a bar trying to make myself sick -- I was hoping it would because I was catching myself eating more and more without thinking. Well, now I know I can and I get to fight that urge now. Which is fine. I'm aware of the problem and much more willing to admit to that then I would have been when my weight problems started.

I take in between 800-1200 calories a day. I usually hit 1200 on those days I have candy. I'm being honest about having some candy because I am not even going to try to pretend to be the perfect bypass patient. Now that I am a year out, I feel like a 'normal' eater. I am stuffed by Weight Watchers entrees (my favorites are Creamy Parmesan Chicken and Santa Fe Chicken) and often can't finish them, which I think is perfect. I eat bread maybe once a week (usually 1 Hawaiian Sweet dinner roll all by its lonesome as a snack). Beef jerky, chicken, cheese, almonds, and fish are my major sources of protein. I do not eat pasta. Its been a couple months since I have had pizza and I can only handle a few bites of a thin crust Taco pizza from Godfather's. My kids have pizza about once a week, I skip it, it doesn't even look good to me anymore. I eat nothing, absolutely nothing, fried.

My focus is on protein 95% of the time. The other 5% I am going bonkers on fruit or veggies. I am struggling this month, though, with the amount of fruit I am taking in during the day. Its so easy to graze on watermelon and cherries. I'm going nuts on that this summer. I think I will cut myself some slack on that, though. I am going to miss them this winter.

I am having an awful time drinking more water. I get in the bare minimum but would like to get over 60 ozs a day. The watermelon does help, but I want to only count actual liquid intake and not use food sources for that. I am really beginning to focus on this now as I think it may be one way I can help accelerate my weightloss during the last of my 'honeymoon period' which ends in December. Being a 'lightweight' I expected slower weightloss, but I admit that I sometimes feel like a bit of a failure because I didn't break the 100 pound mark by my one year anniversary. Luckily, I have a support group I go to here in town and I was able to talk to them about this Tuesday night. They reminded me not to compare myself to the lady sitting next to me (she lost 130 pounds in a year) because everyone is differant. I know this, but I still do hear that little voice in the back of my head telling me I am going to screw this up, too.

What I have screwed up is my exercise. I haven't been keeping up the intense workouts that I had been doing. I think its been a month now and I'm pissed at myself. My sister being here threw me off, Logan's whacked out sleep schedule gave me the 'reason' I couldn't get to the gym. The worst of it, though, was that I stopped weightlifting soon after I made the announcement that I wouldn't stop. I have absolutely no excuse for that and won't try to come up with one. I am going to start again. I have had enough of a vacation this month. I noticed that my exercise slacking off is reflected in my lack of posting here. I posted less and less... maybe I have been avoiding the confession.

I am just 30 pounds away from my goal. Its going to be the hardest part of all. Hubby will be coming home for a visit in October, hopefully for Halloween, so I have about 3 months to hit all my goals and really get fit. I'd really like to see the 130s on the horizon by then.

Here I am at 155.5/156 lbs. When I first bought this shirt it was very tight, now I have plenty of room and will probably move to the next size down (this is a Juniors 15/17 shirt).

This is my new shirt, a size small, I purchased last week. Its still a little tight, so I don't wear it out. I just wanted to show it! I think in a couple of months it will be perfect.

My face is really starting to thin out a bit.

I love my new swimsuit.

I took a little risque picture to send to hubby. Hope he enjoys it. *snicker*

No picture yet. I'm not feeling that great and my daughter has had friends over most of the day, so I keep putting it off.

I do need to report that my sister and her brood left on June 28. She did tell my parents about the visit from the police officers and I was surprised when my dad just shook his head over it. They made an appointment with the police department to file some paperwork about it, but that is not necessary now. While my sister was cleaning the house before my parents returned from their property scouting trip, she found money that my niece had been stealing from my mother. It was about $40 worth of change sh had removed from my mom's change jug over the last few months. My sister called my parents to tell them about it and well, that was it for them. Attitude and idiocy is on thing, stealing is a whole new ballgame. Since my parent's also had a cell phone and house phone missing, they decided that my niece was no longer welcome in their hom. They told my sister she was welcome to come back after her visit with her husband (gag), but that my niece could not return.

I completely agreed with their decision and so did my sister. She understood and told them she wouldn't be returning. So we now have the whole summer free of their drama. Its been really nice and quiet the last few days. I was relieved when they left. I've been getting a lot more reading in. I do miss my niece's babysitting skills, though! Logan loved her and she was a big help in that area. I probably won't be gaming online much this summer.

Big Brother 8 starts airing in a few days! YEEHAW! I've got my livefeed subscription, my Showtime subscription, and I donated to my favorite reality tv site, Reality BBQ forums. I am all set for internet nerdness and voyeuristic pleasure. Maybe I'll bitch about the hamsters here a bit.

I am unsure how the closing of Guantanamo Bay's prison facitlity (the base will remain, just not the detention center) will affect my husband's orders. I am praying that it doesn't get him sent to Iraq, which is a huge possibility. They are short on security officers there and he is qualified to train Iraqi forces.

I need to get outside and mow the lawn again. Yay for sweaty exercise.

Logan had a blast on his birthday. We took him to Toys'R'Us and we spent an hour and a half playing around in there. I purchased him the Kangaroo Climber, Go, Diego, Go Rescue Pack, and Barricade the Decepticon, his second Transformer(as requested by his big brother who purchased Logan his first transformer yesterday : Bumblebee). Grandma bought him an adjustable basketball hoop and a wooden ABC puzzle. After Toys'R'Us, we headed to the mall and let him run around there for an hour. He ate a plate of cheese fries (Logan will eat anything with dip) and pretty much laughed the entire time we were out. He slept on the way home (about 25 minutes) and promptly woke up when we dropped off Grandma. I gave up on the idea of getting a nap in (damn it) and we headed to Walmart to get his cake. He helped pick it out. He loves Dora even more than Diego, but her cakes don't hav a unisex choice, really, so we opted for Diego. Logan likes making the Jaguar's roar sound.
New word this week was "ear." And then he points to his own ears. He also will point out his nose and hair and teeth. He loves brushing his teeth and wiping his own nose (with tissues). He is using the pacifier less and less nowadays and I have started hiding them during the day. I have also been puttimng Logan to bed before he falls asleep. He still gets pissy about that, but the whining ends after twenty minutes and he falls to sleep.
His bedtime falls at 10:30 right now and its my guess it will remain that way for awhile. I have to pick up the oldest from work at 10pm 5 days a week and my daughter is often not at home, so Logan comes with me. The workplace it just five minutes away, but there isn't any point in putting Logan to bed early just to drag him out again later. When school starts in August, though, my daughter will be home much more, and we'll be getting up early with her, so we'll probably adjust bedtime again when that starts. I really look forward to my 19 year old finally getting his license, but that process takes 9 months (!!!) here unless I can find a driving school to pay for which cuts the time by three months. Of course, this driving school is not in our town (there are none here) and is in Clarksville, Tennessee, about 25 minutes away. As soon as the oldest gets his driving permit (he is studying the manual supposedly), I'll be checking into that.
My weigh in for July 1 is 155.5 lbs, which is 4.5lbs and 5.25" lost overall for the month of June. My total inches lost in the last 11 months is 83". I am comfortable wearing 12/14 shirts and size 14/medium pants. Most of the clothing I bought before surgery I am now wearing. My mother's friend gave me a ton of winter clothes and I can't wait to wear them. A couple of cashmere and angora sweaters especially. I will ask my daughter to help me with another progress picture today and I'll put it up this evening. Maybe in my swimsuit!