Logan is once again doing his whacky bedtimes, but I think I possibly have it fixed. We've been going to bed between 1-2am due to late naps. Since I don't work outside the home, I thought I could deal with it, but its getting to me! I didn't even make it to the YMCA to workout for a week (not helping my plateau at all) because his sleeping patterns were so out of whack I feared he'd piss off the daycare workers with some grumpiness and they'd refuse to take him ever again. I know, they wouldn't but I hate taking him there anyway and just didn't want to worry about it.

I hit the Y two times this week so far, though, and he cried each time I dropped him off in the nursery room. The first time I almost let it make me go home. Then I reminded myself,having been a daycare worker previously, that he'd be ok after a few minutes. After fifteen minutes he was scoping out the lay of the land and playing on his own. I took him this morning and I was so pleased to see a lot of toddlers his age he could watch. I'm planning on going in the mornings from now on. I really need to set up some type of schedule for the two of us so that we can actually get a decent bedtime.

The last two days he has skipped his nap and has fallen asleep by 7:30- 8pm. Which is fan-freaking-tastic because I get several hours to myself and get to bed at a decent hour. My hope is that he wakes up at 7:15am (again) and we repeat what we did today-- breakfast, dressed, watch Barney, head to Y for an hour & a half, back home for lunch, and then play all day. I do play with him a little but I admit I get bored pretty darned fast and take frequent breaks. He explores the huge backyard, chases Shadow, pulls leaves off the plants outside, plays in the play area I made in the (fenced off) carport and runs in and out while I check email or watch a bit of tv. I keep the doors open to the play area and I check on him frequently to make sure no one snatched him over the fence or something and to make sure that if he is making mud pies outside that he isn't eating them. He loves our backyard. I'm definately not a perfect mom, I have to catch The View.

Logan only says two words now- "Mama" and "Whoah!" This evening, while I put on his diaper after our shower, he was practicing 'R' sounds. I was repeating the sound and he'd sing it after me, which was fun. I really wish he'd talk, I look forward to hearing what he has to say. I will be talking to his doctor about it at his 2 year appointment in a couple months.

Since it was Earth Day recently, I thought I'd share what we've done around here since we arrived. I replaced every bulb (except the outdoor ones, waiting til I have a bit more money for that) with CFLs (Compact fluorescent lightbulbs) the second day we moved in. I no longer take receipts from ATMs and gas pumps. I save all of our plastic bags (from shopping) and re-use them around the house or take them to the recycle bin at our local Walmart (I do not know if this is a national program, but they take them at ours). You know that rule "If its yellow let it mellow, if its brown, flush it down?" I do that in my personal bathroom, although that isn't the rule in the main bathroom because my parents would flip the fuck out if they saw that. I no longer use the dishwasher if its not completely full, so now we do dishes every other day (and sometimes three). My mother and I carpool 80% of the time and I will call her up if I am headed out to see if she needs anything.

I would swear I saw a sign downtown for a recycling plant, so I will be checking into that this week and getting my parents to let me take their Diet Pepsi bottles in with my plastics. They also get the local daily paper (I refuse to), so I'd like them to save those for me, too. I'm hoping I can pick up a special container for both of our households. If not, I will purchase one and try to convince them to at least bag theirs seperately at home so I can transport it to the plant on my own. I have seen no, nada, zip, zilch recycling bins on trash day (or any other day), so they do not have a citywide program yet.

As soon as the finances straighten out, I will be looking into household cleaners and the like. I do not think I could afford the eco cleaners right now. I'm also switching from papertowels to kitchen rags when I can afford to purchase some more. I also purchase refills for cleaners right now and do not buy new spray bottles. Anyway, that's pretty much it right now.

I'm doing research on hybrid cars and may actually purchase a Toyota Prius instead of a MINI Cooper *GASP* in the future. I wish MINI would come out with a hybrid. A British engineering firm actually made one, but MINI itself seems mum about plans for a real version. I haven't made up my mind on that one, yet, considering the cost of replacing the engine/battery of the Prius once it funks out. Lots of arguing back and forth about the financial benefits of the hybrids vs. fuel economy cars. Honestly, my motivation isn't just the environment. Its the sick feeling of giving my money to the oil companies... its really been bothering me lately. Course my father would just love this argument, as he has stock in Phillips 66. God, I love my MINIs, though.

Let's see...what else...

I went to the lcoal WLS support group and had a wonderful time. The support group leader and I were the only post-ops... everyone else were pre-ops or just researching it as an option. There is one lady there, if she aks me, I'm going to tell her I don't think she should do it. She had admitted she didn't like protein and couldn't see herself eating it, she likes her fruits and vegetables (and Im going to make the judgement that she likes more than just that). She was almost combative about it. Another lady, though, admitted to me as we were leaving that she is only afraid of being thin... she's been so large for so long she is scared of the changes. Yet she is also very sick and in a lot of pain (which would definately be alleviated by WLS) and you can tell she wants to do it, but she is letting other people's negativity hold her back (friends and family making judgements about her character for even considering WLS).

I am really looking forward to the next meeting. It helped me feel better about this stall. Energized me to keep pluggin' away and keep my chin up. It felt good to share my experiences with others and know they are just as scared as I was when I first considered WLS. I feel like I am helping them. It would be nice to make friends, too.

Still waiting for the oldest to come home... he's been instructed he will need surgery on his wrist or he can't try to come back. He's about fed up and I can't blame him. Its up to him what he wants to do when he gets back. He should be home before May 15th... think they are holding him for physical therapy right now. Well, the boy is getting paid at least and free medical care. *sigh*

I spend my evenings trying to resist the urge to kill my almost 13 year old daughter. I'll write about that later.

I'm so sad.

My oldest just called, in tears, and said the Navy is sending him home. He has done something to his arm and dislocated his kneecap and he can't heal enough to graduate. They did tell him that he can try again in six months. He is just devestated and it ripped my heart out to hear him so upset. He is a lot like me and beats himself up. I know he is feeling like a failure and that just kills me. This happens more than people know, and the fact that they want him to try again should let him know he can do it.

I know he is 19, but hearing him try to keep him together had me wanting to hold him like when he was a little boy.

They never stop being your babies, now do they?

Not only has my weight not budged, but in the last few days it crept up four pounds to 164. This morning I weighed in at 162.5 and although it causes me no end of frustration that I crept out of the 150s, I am really, really thankful to be where I am right now. I was writing my weight into a program that tells you your metabolic basal rate so that I could work on calorie stuff here at home (wanted to make sure I had a good guideline) and as I typed in 164, it really hit me. I do not weigh over 200 pounds anymore. I still do in my head, though. So I sat and stared at the number for a bit and I felt a smile creep across my face.

Brenna, you are right, no one should allow a spike in a weight convince them to stop weightlifting. Its not stopping me, that's for sure. This spike has actually given me grim determination to stick with it. I am going to have excess skin in over my abdomin (its already very clear) and I would rather have just the skin removed than actually have my muscles manipulated in a tummy tuck. If I can strengthen my core, my surgeon may say just the skin removal is fine. I may never have six pack abs (but I'd love to), but a strong body is very sexy to me. My arms are beginning to look fabulous and I'm so excited about what they will look like when I force my body to burn off those fat reserves.

I'm feeling good about myself. Just a little anxious to move past 155... which was the weight I just couldn't break through 14 years ago.

I will be thrilled if I can drop to 156, like in my goal list to the right, but adjusting for a weight stall while my body recovered from losing 80 pounds... I can do that!

Logan's grandma bought him some boots for fall for just $2. He LOVES them and this is a common sight around here. He stomps all over the house. I have to hide them near bedtime because then I'd never get them off.


Logan's "What the fuck is that?" moment at the library's Easter egg hunt. Grandma tells him its the Easter Bunny, but he just stands there and stares.


He loves his Spiderman Easter egg pail.


He also loves his booster seat. We didn't bring the high chair with us and he doesn't miss that thing at all!


Finding an Easter egg at the hunt.


Logan loves the library, too.


Its been ten days and my weight hasn't budged. Welcome to my weightloss stall.

April 1st, 2007 weigh-in : 160.5 pounds. Loss is now 80 pounds total. Size L shirt. Size 12/14 capri pants.
I'm not sure I can see a differance in my face, though.

I am on track with my goals, so I will explain just what was pissing me off with the scale. On March 18th, I weighed in at 158.5 pounds. I was ecstatic that hubby got to see me just couple pounds above the lowest weight I ever saw in the first year of our marriage. The day he left, my weight skyrocketed back to 164 pounds! I admittedly flipped out. I can only guess that maybe the weightlifting caused my body to switch to starvation mode and maybe hold on to every ounce of water it possibly could. Thank goodness it slowly returned to 160.5 but GEE WHIZ... I really thought I was going to see 155 by April 1st, which is the lowest I had weighed in our first year of marriage and what I weighed the day I found out I was pregnant with our daughter 14 years ago.

Its ok though... I know its just a bump and that it happens. So, although I did start weightlifting this month, I am reporting my usual loss of 6 pounds for March. Perhaps now that I'm weightlifting, doing cardio, not to mention mowing these big lawns I have now, just maybe I can drop eight pounds in April. Here's to getting to that goal!