I have been going to the gym, mowing lawns, and playing with Logan.

I've also been cursing at the scale, although I shouldn't, because I knew my weightloss would go all whacky.

I was so steamed over the scale that I finally took my measurements.

In the last three months I have lost 22.5 inches of fat. It made me feel better about my current weigh-ins (official one coming on Sunday). I whined to hubby anyway and he told me to stop worrying, this happens all the time, yada yada yada.

I know he's right but still...aargh!

I will post more later. Logan has realized Im on the computer.

I woke up feeling really good this morning, even after staying up way too late and getting less sleep than I should have. My muscles are not sore, but have that wonderful tight feeling. I wish you could bottle that feeling up and sell it. I had forgotten how good it feels. I always feel more motivated to exercise when I feel this way.

Here is what I did last night and will be working on this week:
Weight Machine------Pounds Lifted--------3 sets of reps (varying reps)
Abdominal #40 15 15 15
Biceps Curl #20 8 8 (failure)
Triceps Extension no weight 15 15 (added #20) 5(to failure)
Lower Back #20 15 15 15
Torso Rotation #10 (R) 15 15 15 (L) 15 15 15
Inner & Outer Thigh #20 (I) 15 15 15 (O) 15 15 15
Rotary Shoulder #20 8 8 5
Leg Curl #20 15 15 15
Lat Pulldown #20 15 15 15
Leg Extension #20 10 12 8
Rotary Chest #20 15 15 15
Leg Press #20 10 15 (failure)

I was surprised by just how weak I had become. Especially with arm exercises. At least I know where I am right now and can put together a program for improvement. I will of course be using sites like KristaSmash and Bodybuilding.com (which had an interesting article on 3 sets of 10 reps program design) and getting books from the library to switch things up for myself and develope the body I want to have.

Speaking of the library, did I ever mention my 52 book goal? I'm going to start keeping track of the books I read this year in the side column. I hope to read 52 books by New Year's Eve. I'm thinking of doing it for Logan, too, but he really won't sit and listen to a book right now. He wants to grab it and run off on his own to sit with it. Would that count? Anyway, don't expect a bunch of sophisticated reading... I'm a big fantasy & sci fi fan, so a lot of that will be listed. Non-fiction, too, of course, but mostly fiction.

Ok, Barney is over and Logan is grabbing the mouse now so I had better get offline!

Inspired by Plain Jane's ass-kicking boots.

For the past three years I have owned one pair of shoes. Currently they are very comfortable Champion walking shoes, size 8W, and instead of buying a new set because they still look pretty good, I headed to Walmart to buy new insoles. Last week I bought a very pretty top tht just will not go with my sneakers, so we thought we'd see if I could find some dressy shoes and some black slacks to go along with it. I tried on a few and hit the clearance rack. That is where I found my new boots. I bought them for just $5 and hubby thinks they are very sexy. When I saw them I immediately thought of Jane. I wore them out for our family dinner Tuesday night. Then we walked around a couple of stores afterwards. How do ladies wear high heel shoes all day? My feet were killing me by the end of the night. However, every time I saw how good they looked in mirrors and reflections, it helped me ignore the pain. So, I guess I just answered my own question.

They are just a tad more country than I would normally prefer, but for $5(!), you just can't go wrong. They look great with jeans. I'm looking forward to wearing them more this fall and winter. Its nice to have another option to wear when going out for a short time, too. I will be hitting Payless this summer to buy a few more pair of fun sandals and pumps.

Hubby left last night. My daughter and I dropped him off at the Nashville airport. Logan hasn't realized daddy is missing, though when he sees our family portrait (which arrived March 15) he makes little grunts and whining noises. Last night he also waved at it.

I have my oldest son's things to pack away for him and now I can add hubby's stuff to that as well. They both left me with a bit of a mess, but I really don't mind it. It gives me something to do. Hubby is coming back to visit in eight months, so from today and until then its all about staying busy.

Back to the gym beginning tonight. I will be taking Logan to the daycare for the first time and I'm such a wuss about it. I'll be in the same building, in fact I will never be more than 200 feet away from him, but there is this anxious feeling I have about leaving him with people he doesn't know. I just do not want him to be scared or feel like I abandoned him. I know Im probably going to be more upset than he will. It has to be done, however. I have eight months to lose another 40-50 pounds, which will put me at my final goal weight. Weightlifting begins in earnest today.

Feeling much better now and looking forward to getting back to the gym.

Hubby leaves in 7 days. Next Wednesday at 2:30pm I will drop him off in Nashville and head back home. Its been good having him home and watching him spend time with the kids.

There has been some drama between my sister and my mother. Thankfully, I've been able to stay out of it (by not taking sides). My daughter has actually been shocked by the family dynamics she's seen between my sister and her kids and now my daughter is suddenly treating me like I'm human. She even told me she loved me.

It got pretty warm here this week, so I went ahead and purchased some capris I saw at Walmart. They were size 12/14 Ladies and I figured that I could wear them in about six weeks. I am wearing them now. And I'm not stretching them out. I was so stunned that I could even get them over my hips that I rushed into the livingroom to show my husband. He said he wasn't surprised, that in the last week he thought I had lost some inches in my butt and waist. Today my daughter told me I looked 'thin.' Of course, I don't, but compared to where I started, there are moments where I feel absolutely tiny.

Can anyone but other formerly obese women understand how wonderful it is to be able to buy their underwear at ANY store and not have to spring $40 for a few pairs from Lane Bryant? I seem to be on a panty-buying spree with no end in sight. (Is that a pun?)

My mother purchased everyone new sunglasses this week and when I chose mine I didn't know how much they cost. Her medical insurance plan covers a certain amount each year, so she's been buying them for my sister... I have no clue for how long. She saw that I was looking at them at Walmart (I buy sunglasses that cost no more than $10) and promptly dragged me to her optometrist's office. With my sister's help, I chose a pair and then realized they were Coach sunglasses. Guess I have good taste, because I found out right before purchasing them that they cost $149. This is the pair I have now and I love them. I keep them very, very far away from Logan and my daughter. My husband noted that I should get a Coach purse to match them but there is NO WAY IN HELL I'd buy a Coach purse. Can't afford it, for one, and since I hate carrying a purse, anyway, it would be a massive waste of money. As soon as Logan is out of diapers, I'm back to carrying just a wallot when I can get away with it.

Now... I once did see some Coach shoes I thought were cute....

Help! I'm becoming high maintanance! My gods! Soon I might actually want a store credit card. Madness!

Everyone is getting sick here. Which sucks, because my gym time is screwed and no weightlifting for me. I will start over again as soon as I feel better. I was slow going anyway, so I won't lose any progress made.

I had hoped to make 163 by my birthday and I did it! I turn 36 tomorrow, woohoo! After losing ten more pounds, I will weigh less than I have in 15 years.

Today I asked my mother to help me buy new bras. I have been wearing the same bras since surgery- 40DD. My mother was a little freaked by my scar. I just joked that its why I won't wear a bikini. I left JCPenney's with two new 36D bras. Mom did the measurements for me (she worked for them awhile back) and I think she finally understands why plastic surgery is most definately in my future. I can just imagine what she said to my father after we dropped her off.

This should be a drama filled week around here. My sister is coming to visit all of us for the week. She is bringing along my niece and nephew and their Shih Tzu. Our Shih Tzu, Shadow, and my mother's 4 month old toy poodle, Dallas, get along splendidly so we are curious to see how my sister's dog, Scooter, will fit in.I will get a picture of the three of them if I can. The drama will come from my sister's... belligerant attitude and tendency towards saying the worst possible thing at the worst possible time. The fact that she just told us she is reconciling with the man my parents forked over $800 for her to divorce (he's a sex addict and has lived in another state for almost a year now), well, no one here is happy. At all. It means she has to sell the house she just bought (BY HERSELF), leave the state she worked her ass off to get a real estate license in (her husband refused to help her pay for the classes, so my parents did, another $1200 I think, total), and pretty much place her fate in a man not one of us respects at all.

My sister is pissed that my parents now sing the praises of my husband. However, she forgets that they have watched him work two jobs, go to counselling, constantly be in contact with his children, and do his best to make up for his mistakes. I am being very honest when I say that my parents LOVE my husband now. In their eyes, he's paid his debt to his and their family.

Unfortunately, there is not one thing to respect about her husband. Not one. He has denied them money (she ended up going to his command several times for help), he refused to help them move (he literally sat and watched my father & mother move items to both an apartment and then to the new house), and he has not stayed in touch with the kids. He also has not followed through with individual therapy, nor sex addicts anonymous meetings, and we recently discovered he has now plunged himself (and my sister) into even deeper debt with credit cards... pornogrpahic purchases being among the items he decided to spend $8000 on. He's been emotionally and verbally abusive to my sister who has been working two jobs this year to support her kids. I just can't support this decision she has made.

So when my parents try to talk to her about not making this huge mistake... she throws my husband's past in all of our faces. I have a feeling its going to get nasty around here... espcially if she pulls that crap out when my husband is in the room. He can't stand her and I fear he will tear into her. I'm just going to let them go at it... I'm tired of being the one in the middle.

If her husband had done SOMETHING to be worthy of respect (work a second job and gave her the extra money, called his kids, went to counselling for himself and went to those meetings, gave up all internet use), I'd understand and support her to keep trying. But he hasn't. Nothing. Let's hope this summer he does SOMETHING!

Ok, gotta go...time for Logan's haircut and to pick our daughter up from a party. I'll rant again soon.

Our oldest left for boot camp today. I was fine until we left the recruiting station and as we walked to the car, I burst into tears. When we got home I had calmed down, but I felt like I had abandoned my child, which is ridiculous, of course. It hit me that I can't shield him from what he is going to face from now on. Everytime I remind myself that my son is now on his own and will not be coming home to live with us, my stomach clenches in to knots.

However, this is the best damn decision he has ever made. They'll build him up, teach him how to be a man, and he will learn to take care of himself. My biggest hope is that he realizes just how great a young man he is... he lacks that belief in himself.

I need to stop writing or its just going to turn into a sappy love letter to my son.

Its March already, can you believe it.

Apologies about the spotty posting, been busy spending time with the family and working on putting the home in order. I have also found niches of time to actually read some books and I've been guarding it jealously. Add in the gym time, and it all has cut my internet usage by over half. I'm not even signed up to play EverQuest 2 again and probably will not until after hubby leaves on the 21st.

I said I would take a picture of Logan's room, so here is one:



Logan's sleeping habits have improved in the last week and a half. We now get about four days a week where he sleeps through the night with one wake up on the other days. However, now we just have to lay him back in his bed and he's out like a light. I'm hoping in about four months the wakeups will be rare, although they really aren't a big deal right now.

Our oldest son leaves the afternoon of March 6th. We drop him off at the recruiter station at 2pm and they bus him out to a hotel near the MEPs station so that he can process and fly out the next day. He's been requesting 'last meals' like steak and chicken and dumplings. I've tried to get him to cut out the caffeine before he leaves, hoping to avoid caffeine withdawal when he's at boot camp, but he's not listening. Oh, well, I tried.

March 1st weigh in was 166 pounds, a loss of six pounds for February. I'm not sure how the weightlifting will effect my weigh-in on April 1st, I have a feeling I may see a weightloss stall this month due to it, but I am going to make sure I take my measurements so I can still see a change.

I'm doing really well and so very happy to be where I am right now.