I do not think that I mentioned that all last week hubby was out of town for work. Or that Logan was sick and puking and leaking on me several times a day. He also refused to eat and I got so worried that I ended up taking him to the doctor. Of course, by the time I got him to the doctor he was improving and I had managed to sneak unflavored Pedialyte into his forumla so he was hydrated.

Logan is doing just fine now and his appetite is back. The food he refuses now is anything that came in a baby food jar. He has an uncanny ability to realize when Im trying to get the stuff past him.

I am happy to report that the 'going to bed awake' plans are working very well. Now he complains maybe 2-5 minutes and then he's down. I also no longer have to rock him once during the night. Its been a full week of him sleeping through the night. I didnt mind rocking him, it lasted less than 15 minutes, but it sure is nice knowing that once he's asleep he is down for the night.

Right now Im battling a nasty diaper rash that Logan developed over the last few days. When he stopped eating it changed his movements-- and it was unpleasant for the both of us. So hubby went and grabbed Boudreaux's Butt Paste and he's upstairs all slathered up. Tomorrow I plan on allowing him A LOT of airtime in the afternoon-- he's semi-regular with his movements and he's normally done after 2 with that. I just clean up any messes as they occur. No biggie. Im worried more about his skin than my carpets.

My 18 year old son has been having problems with transferring credits and such from Guam...it put him a year behind. We all sat down a couple months ago and decided to let him test for his GED so that he could begin college this fall. I am very happy to report that with this pre-test he scored among the highest and qualified to take his test for free. March 30th he takes the real deal. He's been working at his job for a year now and they gave him more hours (he asked for them) last week. He pays for cellphone and once he has his driving permit (hopefully sometime next week) he is paying for his insurance. Of course, should hubby find out he's getting promoted this year, we'll secretly stash our son's insurance money into a savings account for him. We're quietly fixing up the van this summer so that we can give it to our son.

Hubby started another part time job again. Let's see how long before he gets burned out on this one. *sigh*

Putting Logan down for his nap while he is still awake is getting easier. He cries much less, maybe ten minutes and I always check on him once during that time and just repeat "Naptime" and lay him down. I then just simply walk out and close the door behind me. He even went to bed without crying. I couldn't believe it. I just put him down for his morning nap (after a morning bottle during which he was snoozing until I stood up). I just did my first check after hearing a noise up there-- he threw his pacifier-- and he is now letting me know how pissed he is about it.

I think the real challange is knowing when the baby is really tired and needs to nap. Between 9 and 12 months some babies skip one of their naps and get rid of it. I worry about not knowing when he's ready to drop one. We'll see how this goes this week. Its been hard for me to do... I do not like ticking him off.

Oh great, Shadow just ran upstairs and opened the door because he heard the baby crying. *sigh* Darn puppy!

There is an extremely pissed off 8 month old upstairs screaming his head off. Today was day one of putting him down for his nap while drowsy/awake. He was fine while I was rocking him (eyes closed, breathing deeply) and when I put him in the crib he opened his eyes. I decided then it was time to stop pussyfooting around and get started on this. I put it off while mom was here.

One more minute and I can go up there and calm him down some. Will try for just a half hour more than I will let him up. We've been at this for half an hour almost (I've checked on him twice so far adding minutes each time between checking). How do poeple do this without feeling like scum?

Yesterday I had Orientation with the Bariatric Clinic. My hubby came with me and I really felt for him because it was three hours long and booooring for anyone *not* getting the surgery. I didn't learn anything new, which is a good thing to me, because it means the facts I've gathered are sound and I've done my work in that regard. Hubby did learn a couple things but he was most impressed with the Before and After photos my doctor used in his presentation.

The bariatric case worker was one of the patients he had in 2004. She told us she waited in line just like the rest of us. She had both the stomach stapling -which failed when her staples came out- and the RNY. She told us that it gives her a better perspective when dealing with the patients because she understands where we are all coming from and knows the fears and anxiety along with it. I personally liked her, although it was obvious from a few others in the room they found her way too blunt. I like blunt people, there is no messing around with touchy feely crap. Bluntness has its place and in a room with people who are about to twist their innards around, its appropriate.

What shocked me was the attitude of some of the other patients. There were at least five who did not know one single thing about the surgery (There were twelve of us-- ten women and two men). Two had gastric bypass surgery before but gained back the weight-- both had stapling (one failed on its own and I got the impression that the other ate through it). A few seemed to only understand that it helps you lose weight. They just wanted to ask about plastic surgery afterwards... I was dying to scream "Putting the cart before the horse!" but I didn't. One that sat near me was a pissy, flaky lady and I couldn't stand her. She was pissed she'd have to drive from Hampton to Portsmouth for her appointments and the support group. They only require two attendings of the group. Her drive is just a half hour. She's getting a $45,000- $60,000 surgery for FREE and she's pissing and moaning about a thirty minute drive she will have to make nine times over the course of three to four months (and that includes her pre-op and surgery days).

I am no longer paying for Weight Watchers. My military clinic has a nutrition class for FREE that weighs me in once a week for six months and it is accepted by the doctor. So I save $350 and a twenty minute drive (my military clinic is within walking distance). Hubby can come home for lunch to sit with Logan and I will be able to go to the class on Tuesdays. I start March 28 since hubby is out of town next week and I wont have a sitter. I could ask my 18 year old to do it, but he's still getting comfortable with watching him. It will be easier for him as time goes on since Im now enforcing a "Visit with your brother" time every day. My oldest would much rather sit in his room and play video games, so it can be s truggle to get him to just sit with Logan. The good thing is that Logan's entire face lights up when he sees his big brother and it does make my oldest feel like a king.

I have gone nine days with no caffeine. Switched to decaf tea as well. NOw to work on my water intake, which is woefully lacking.

I got my patient number. Now its just prep, prep, prep while I wait.

I had a very quiet birthday this weekend. I chose Applebee's for our lunch, since I love their salmon dish. Mom has spent tons of money on our family. I never really thought I could be all shopped out, but I am right on the edge. We had extra money due to a surprise windfall, but we are back on our budget, so getting burned out on shopping is well-timed. The windfall also helped us pay off one bill early. That felt great.

Tomorrow is week 2 at Weight Watchers. I fully expect a gain this week. With the birthday and eating out with mom, my points have been way over the goal. Which is fine since this week we were pretty much just tracking meals I would eat normally-- although eating with mom here is NOT normal. Simple meals I like, she does not, so we're actually eating a lot richer than usual. So instead of fast food we are having restaurant meals,although I have done my best to make good choices. I don't want to gain, actually. I want to drop a little weight over this time... I'd like to see 230 by the end. Once I have my surgeon consult, he will tell me how much I can lose in the weeks before the surgery (yes, a patient is often told to lose a certain amount of weight before surgery). Women my size and BMI are often told to get into the 220s by surgery. I look forward to that. I just want to have the doctor okay it. So a lot of this year is maintaining and preparation until I know what my doctor wants from me.

Tomorrow after the WW meeting, my mother has asked that we eat at Joe's Crab Shack. I'll be looking for salmon or tuna. I'm happy to say I have kept up the caffeine free drinking, even on my birthday, and I finally found a decaf tea I like. We made a gallon today and it was soooo good. I was getting tired of Sierra Mist and Sprite. Having this decaf tea will help me switch from soda later on.

I am looking forward to Orientation on Thursday. Hubby still has his schedule clear for the day. *fingers crossed*

For Project Sexy Mama my mother made my birthday gift a new hairstyle. Today we went to JCPenny's and I got a perm. The stylist also cut it a bit for some shape. She didn't style it like I would (in fact its a tad frizzy right now), but I can fix that on Sunday when I am able to wash it and do it my way.

Also on the PSM agenda was the purchase of new makeup. My makeup was over a year old. I dumped it all and just bought the basics- Loreal Paris Foundation and Powder, Maybelline eyeliner and mascara, and a Cover Girl lipstick and moisturizer (its very good, lasts several hours even through meals which I tested out myself and was so happy to see its true).

I've also decided that although I am headed for WLS, it doesn't mean I have to wear my old frumpy clothes-- worn through pregnancy-- so they will be replaced with better fitting ones. Yes, they may be bought at Target and Walmart, but at least they will be new and differant and help me feel better about my appearance.

My caffeine withdrawal is going well. I will admit to having caffeine a few times this week, but the great majority of my beverages were caffeine free. I'm going to put together a food plan that leads me to drinking only those things I can handle after the WLS by the end of this year. By the end of this summer I will be off sodas completely. Will start working towards aquiring a taste for things like Crystal Light and other diet non-carbonated things. I've been hearing some good things about Green Tea and Im planning on picking up some at the commissary tomorrow.

My mother has gone from worried to totally excited. I had planned to just tell my parents and my sister. My mother is telling everyone in earshot. All my uncles (I have 8), my grandmother, and even the couple we met for lunch last weekend. I have known them since I was little and they retired in this area, but I had not seen them in 10 years. They obviously didn't approve (it was in their faces), but they didn't say anything to me. My grandmother said, "Good for her! If that's what she wants and it will make her happy, she should do it. I know she'll do great." I love my grandma. My father wants to know everything, so Im trying to fill him in on the procedure when I have some time.

Orientation is next Thursday and hubby took the afternoon off. Mom will be here watching the baby. She loves the time she is spending with him-- she practically kicks me out of the house when I have an errand to run so she can have him to herself.

I realized another positive to having to wait 12- 18 months. Logan will be much older and my kids will find helping care for him easier. They still get a bit scared dealing with him at 8 months, but I think when Logan starts using words or sign language (Im beginning to coach him with signs now) they will learn to relax a bit. It may also help Logan to understand when mommy has a "boo-boo" and can't hold him right away after coming home. Anyway, the wait is a positive in many ways.

I am counting points, just like Weight Watchers wants me to. Its an interesting system and its good prep for when I am counting protein grams, fat, and calories. Going to work on memorizing the protein in items I can eat post-op, so its just as ssecond nature as knowing the calorie count of items like I do now. I will be taking lots of tips from the people at the support website and Bitchypooo, of course.

Already been in contact with some local WLS post-ops who went through the Portsmouth program. Nice ladies. I will be meeting them next month at the support group meeting (which allows kids!!!).

Logan has been fussier than normal lately, so we think he might be starting to cut his canines (or eye teeth). He's not sleeping for as long as he should be, either, which does seem to make it worse. I get anxious trying to take him out shopping and my mom laughs at me for being 'softhearted' and 'spoiling' the baby. Call it whatever you like, Im going to pick up my baby any time I think he needs to be!

The visit is going extremely well, although it took me several days to stop getting uptight watching my mother clean the house. My mom is this tiny, tiny 92 pound woman who DOES NOT STOP MOVING. She has rearranged our kitchen, our daughter's room, our bookshelves, but has helped me buy decorative pieces for the house. So you know I am NOT complaining because for the first time ever, my home feels like a home. My husband has his 'cave' as I call it-- he turned the dining area into a media room with his projector and 'screen' (its actually a white shade purchased at Home Depot but is perfect and $70 cheaper than the real thing). He's using the red furniture we bought last year in there and we just found a 12' X 7' brown carpet at home depot on clearance for $64. Mom purchased $25 Martha Stewart red tab curtains for the space and viola! It feels cozy and xomfortable in there and now with the carpet I don't freak when Logan follows his dad in there to play.

Today I take the kids to dental appointments, get a cashier's check for the van's registration (Nebraska plate), and redecorate my daughter's room. We have bought her a door mirror, a new corner computer desk, a new carpet, curtains, a bronze vase and some fun flowers from Michael's for the vase that match her comforter. Her room is fun, I think. I will take a picture and bore you all with it when its finished. The only thing she needs are some pictures on the walls.

I'm also going to order my birthday cake (wow, it could be the last one I eat) and set up my hair appointment. I wish my hair wasn't so thin, because I'd have more options. Think Im going to go with the perm. Going to a place called Twisted Sisters. It looked like a fun salon when I drove by a week ago. Last week my daughter had her hair highlighted at Mastercuts. They did a great job with the color and cut. She had chosen that as her reward for good grades.

I asked my husband to take a position here instead of us rotating overseas next May. That way I can go through the Portsmouth program and wait my turn. The reviews on their program are excellent and we don't pay for anything but food (haha) after surgery. Yes, I could attempt to switch to Tricare Standard and get it done out in town (I had already chosen a doctor thanks to a referral by a former patient- this doctor actually founded the pragram at Portsmouth Naval). Im choosing to wait and save my family a couple thousand dollars.

I will use this year to study and prepare for my life after surgery. I will attend weight watchers for the required time. I will attend the support group meetings for pre-ops and post-ops each month (think its the second Thursday of each month). At the meetings they have a lot of speeakers and the post-ops share their experiences (good and bad). You can pick up samples of protein shakes and other foods in addition to cookbooks designed specifically for WLS patients. I will research vitamins and supplements. I'll use the year to leave behind sodas (working on that already by going caffeine free).

I'll be waiting, sure, but I will be very busy, too.

I've been approved for bariatric surgery.

12- 18 months, however, for the whole process. For the first time ever, Im going to ask my husband to change his own plans and WAIT for me.

Mom knows now. She's being supportive, but worried. I expected that and I understand.

March 16th I go for orientation and receive my patient number. I watch the website for the hospital until my number comes up (which could take up to 9 months). I call the office and they give me an appointment with the surgeon for the consult. They give a list of tests to be done and my surgery is set from three months of that date.

Tonight I am joining Weight Watchers since registration is free this week. Im taking my mom with me. On Mondays, my local weight watcher's center has a family friendly meeting, which means you can bring your children. Perfection.

For my birthday my mother is taking me to a hair salon. I am buying myself a few new pieces of lingerie, shirts, and pants.

Project Sexy Mama in full effect.

Have not posted in the last few days because the ENTIRE family came down with a stomach virus that has been going around my daughter's school (and apparantly the entire district). My mom arrived Saturday evening. We went out for Mongolian Barbecue Sunday and my daughter was acting a little off- my mom commented she didnt look well. Monday morning at 4am she began vomiting and well...ejecting other bodily functions all over the place. And I do mean all over. It was a long day of caring for her and washing.

She looked better Tuesday, so much so that we all went out to Fuddruckers that evening. My mother and I headed to Walgreens and while we searched teh aisles for things we realy didn't need, I began feeling a little queasy. Later that night my mother began vomiting and other lovely things. The baby became sick an hour later. I started 1 hour after that (while simultaneously trying to keep the baby from grabbing the toilet). My son began his own odyssey of barfing with benefits around the same time. It hit my husband at 7am Wednesday morning. It was an evening and day of musical bathrooms.

Its Thursday evening and although our stomachs are still twitchy, we are feeling so much better. We all lived. Adn now we have a gross little tale to tell every holiday.

And its a horrid way to lose a few pounds.

The doctor put in a referral to Plastic Surgery who then made the referral to Bariatrics. I call tomorrow to find out if they decide to accept it as it was still under review today.

That's it for now. Here's to being able to eat more than cheese and crackers tomorrow.